Bacterium (2007)

“Don’t do that!  Didn’t you see The Blob?” This one, despite a title which suggests something more Romero is actually Brett Piper‘s loving homage to The Blob.  Not that he doesn’t get more than a touch of George Romero in there as well. Of course, this is the Blob by way of the 1988 remake, a […]

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Splatter Beach (2007)

After a considerable amount of thought, I’ve decided that the problem with this film is that it is too good to be a Polonia Brothers film. Blame Brett Piper for that:  he was their DP on this film, and it shows.  After years of ragged, shot on grainy video efforts, we have a Polonia film […]

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They Bite (1996)

In 1996, when this film came out, B-Movie Maestro Brett Piper had already made four films, including the one he seems best remembered for, the wildly miss-named A Nymphoid Barbarian in Dinosaur Hell. But this was the one that really defined his work for the next decade – and after ten years of post-Apocalyptic films, it comes […]

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Shock-O-Rama (2005)

This one is generally considered to be B-Maestro Brett Piper‘s best film.  Certainly it is a lot of fun, even if somewhat weighted down by Shock-O-Rama (the film distributor)’s insistence on having lots of naked girls in their films.  But he gets enough of a budget on this one that his signature stop motion effects have […]

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Galaxy (1986)

(AKA Battle for the Lost Planet, Galaxy Destroyer) Brett Piper‘s second feature is a huge improvement over his first. Well, mostly.  It doesn’t have as many stop motion monsters.  And that is, of course, what we really want to see in one of his films:  lots of monsters. But don’t worry.  They’re in there, along with […]

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The Dark Sleep (2012)

(aka, H.P. Lovecraft’s The Dark Sleep) “There’s nothing supernatural going on here.  There’s a reasonable scientific explanation for everything.  I just need to figure it out.“ If Brett Piper makes a Lovecraft movie, then the one thing we can be absolutely certain about is that it will feature lots of cool, old-school, stop-motion creatures. Which this one definitely […]

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Mysterious Planet (1982)

If there is ever an award given for the worst sound in a Motion Picture, I’m afraid this film will probably carry away a lifetime achievement award. Which is a shame.  With a halfway decent dub track it probably would have played endlessly on the Superstation and ended up a cult favorite like Don Dohler‘s The […]

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Arachnia (2003)

Of the Brett Piper films I have seen so far, this one is by far my favorite.  It is also the one in which his stop motion effects truly get the opportunity to shine, as he manages to bring an army of giant spiders to hideous (if slightly comic)) life. And it is that slightly […]

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Sharkenstein (2016)

“Disappearing people? Sharks eating sharks? The only thing missing from this story is a mad scientist” I have to wonder. Has Mark Polonia, after years of making dirt cheap backyard films got to the point where he’s chosen to deliberately make the sort of films the Polonia Brothers make? John Cleese famously said he left […]

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