Pandora Machine (2004)

This was Andrew Bellware’s first science fiction film. I’d long had the impression that Millennium Crisis was his first, but three years earlier, he made this cyberpunk detective story about a cop and his partner trying to find an important politician’s murderer in a dystopian future. For those of you unfamiliar with his work, Bellware is one […]

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Bite Me! (2004)

It’s one of those urban legends that’s been around forever. Supposedly the government created a super strain of Marijuana:  someone stole it and secretly leaked it to the public. Like any good conspiracy theory, it really isn’t clear why they’d develop it, although one hears talk of it being used to track drug trafficking, or even worse, that they laced […]

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The Thing Below (2004)

(AKA Sea Ghost) What did I do to deserve this???? I’m tired of cheap monster films.  I really am.  This one was just too much. And, surprise, surprise, who directed it but our old friend Jim Wynorski? For those of you fortunate enough not to have encountered him, Jim has made a career of directing the […]

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Preylien: Alien Predators (2004)

This is probably the best Polonia Brothers film I have ever seen. Okay, that’s not saying a lot. But it does help define exactly what kind of terrible we’re talking about.  And, let’s face it, it’s an interesting kind of terrible. Yes, we know we’re talking about amateurish acting, silly props (come, on!  we all know […]

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Hide and Creep (2004)

Hmmmm….Does this film actually belong here?  After all, there have been plenty of routine horror films which have tied zombies to flying saucers (something the creators of this film actually have the nerve to point out by including a few snatches of Ed Wood’s classically bad Plan Nine from Outer Space in the opening scene). But […]

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