It’s a bad sign when the best thing about a movie is Burt Ward.
He isn’t playing Robin to Adam West’s Batman this time, but instead he’s some sort of Alien Head Honcho, The Omnipresent Praxima.
Which basically means he shows up once in a while and pontificates a bit.
Meanwhile some guy named Tyrone Wade plays the hero. You won’t have too much trouble figuring out what kind of hero as he has a strong foreign accent and spends most of his time fighting people.
There’s some nonsense about an entire race of shape-shifting alien soul-suckers trapped in a meteorite, which accidentally fell on the Earth. So the Omnipresent Praxima turns the idiot who lost it into a tough guy (Wade, naturally) and sends him after it.
After all, the fate of the universe depends on stopping the bad guy, so by all means send the guy who’s already proved he’s useless to do the job.
But I digress.
Naturally he finds Earth people remarkably unhelpful, and, equally naturally, he grabs a girl and drags her along.
If this doesn’t sound familiar, take a time out and watch Star Man or The Terminator. That way it won’t be a huge shock when she decides to tag along and help him on his quest…
Well, you know the rest of it.
But don’t worry too much about that as most of our running time is spent on fighting.
With, of course a few car chases, some so-so effects, a pair of unfunny comedy relief soldiers and the usual unconvincing romance.
All on a painfully low budget.
I suppose it says something about this film that there is a line that leaves me wondering exactly how bad it is: when asked if he knew something at one point, Burt replies of course. “I’m omnipresent.”
This leaves me wondering, does he know it because he is everywhere and just saw it along the way, or did they mean “omnipotent” or “omniscient” and get the word wrong?
Or did the writer only have the faintest memories of his days in Catechism class and use the most impressive word he could remember, even if he forgot what it meant.
I’m betting on that last one.
rivets on the poster 