Lavalantula (2015)

This one, of course, was made to cash in on the wave of over the top shark movies started by Sharknado.

Yeah, yeah, these are spiders (mostly) but the idea of the super-competent hero taking on the menace that is terrorizing an entire city is pretty much the same.  Oh, and it was also made by The Asylum.

So there.

At any rate, you pretty much know what you’re getting, with Steve Gutenberg as a failed action hero (so close!) and many of the old Police Academy cast on hand.

But it has a few interesting moments, thanks in part to the decision to set this one in Hollywood, complete with Cosplay victims, the famous sign wiped off the side of the hill by lava, and a film crew riding to the rescue at the end.  Ian Ziering gets a quick walk-on, apparently in character as Fin Shepard, his Sharknado hero — although the The Raiders of the Lost Ark sight gag might be the best moment.

Well, up until that last battle.

But what earns this one it’s place in my heart is that 50s B-monster movie vibe – and particularly the revelation that the lava tubes beneath the city are actually in the shape of an insect nest.  Okay, we know that spiders don’t form colonies, with or without queens, but then, they don’t live in lava, either.  If anyone in the movie had complained about such minor details, they’d have been treated with the contempt they deserved.  I’m the official genius scientist here.  Don’t try to tell me my business.

Mind you, anyone who’s seen Them! will recognize the similarities to the ending – even if Them! didn’t have a hero flying around in a Jet pack.  The creatures themselves are well done for the most part, if basically interchangeable.  But fire spitting giant spiders?  What’s not to love?  

And that’s about it.  Fun, minor and, yes, better than the typical SyFy network schlock.

But not enough that you’d go too far out of your way to see it.


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